Joe Raedle/Getty Images
Just days after news broke of the dude who offered his Tinder date a 15-bullet pointed list of ‘improvements’ in order to score a second date with him comes the story of a man who has established a comprehensive list of metrics aimed to provide more information about a person than four of their best pictures ever could.
Female Twitter user @TheDreamGhoul posted a man’s Tinder profile she presumably stumbled across while swiping. Many have blasted it for being superficial with a side of douchebaggery, but I’d argue that learning of someone’s personality traits before trying to fuck them is more noble than trying to fuck them because they look good in a photo from sophomore year of college.
You decide.
i have stumbled upon the world’s worst straight dude tinder bio pic.twitter.com/Tpgmb6r4nn
— Jade Van Kley (@BacklineNurse) March 13, 2019
Here is my assessment:
Workout: +2
Like to drink: +1
Love your family: +3
Understanding budget: 0
Can hold a conversation +2
Practice a religion 0
Go to school 0
Open-minded +1
A freak in bed (Can’t be a freak if you get winded after a few pumps): 0
Bougie: 0
Have a hobby: +1
Shorter than 5’3”: 0
Professional and Ratchet: 0
THE NEGATIVES
Smokes cigs: -1 (I’ll give myself -1 instead of -2 seeing as I don’t smoke unless I’ve had a sip of alcohol. Then I’m fucking Joe Camel)
Netflix 3+ hours a day: 0
Only do put on a face for an event: 0
Have way to many clothes: 0
Can’t cook: -1
Unemployed/Not a student: 0
Needy: 0
Rude: -2
My score: 7/20. Yikes.
I wonder if this dude will still fuck me.