True Story: I’d Rather Fly Next To A Dog Than A Baby (Don’t @ Me)

Presented in partnership with FOMO Bones CBD Dog Treats… 

FOMO Bones Dog Treats can help your dog chill the hell out when your pup is experiencing anxiety in all sorts of situations, among other things, so they really act as a savior when man’s best friend just can’t seem to stop being a hyper ball of energy. While that may be great for the park or on a long walk, it’s not really all that great while flying — so make sure you slip some of these HEMP-ful dog treats to him or her before boarding a plane.

Let’s face it, bros, flying can be stressful enough as it is. You’re probably worrying about being 30,000 feet in the air, thinking about possible delays that could cause you to miss a connecting flight and/or expand your trip even more or, worse, being stuck in the middle seat next to the most talkative person on the planet, who wants to know everything about your trip.

But nothing is worse than being stuck next to a baby; no matter how cute babies might be.

The crying. The whining. The constant coddling. The parents feeling embarrassed that they just can’t get the little one to stop, knowing all too well that the entire flight hates them. There’s nothing anyone can do; except try to put on some headphones and drown out the noise.

Problem is, that solution doesn’t always work, which is why I’d much rather sit next to a dog flying with its owner than deal with a baby who just can’t stop doing baby things.

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Why does traveling next to a dog seem like a better option on an airplane? Even when they’re anxious and have to deal with the noise and complications of flying — something most pups don’t do on a regular basis — if the owner did the right thing by slipping him or her a FOMO Bones dog treat, then life will be easier for every passenger on that flight. And, as much as I love a cute baby to make smile and all that, here are some reasons why I’d much rather do it when I can escape after a couple minutes instead of being stuck for hours next to one on an airplane.

  • Babies’ emotions change in an instant, whereas dogs typically just sit and chill.
  • A chill dog won’t act up, whereas a baby will almost always act up.
  • There’s little to no fear of a dog barfing up on you, but a baby can do it at any moment.
  • You won’t feel guilty for being on any bad behavior sitting next to a dog owner, but you’ll feel watched with eagle eyes by parents of a baby.
  • Who knows, maybe the dog owner turns out being cute and you have an easy icebreaker to chat. A mom with a baby? Yeah, she’s taken, bro.

I may come across as the bad guy for preferring to sit next to a dog than a baby, but, c’mon, who the hell wouldn’t choose the same? It’s why that recent story of a drunk lady being booted from a plane for having to sit next to a baby went viral — because, while she was bonkers, everyone could relate.

For those dog owners looking to help society (and all future airplane passengers), do a solid and make sure your pup takes a FOMO bones dog treat prior to takeoff, it’s going to make everyone like you so much more.

Order FOMO Bones using the code BROPUPS for 10% off!

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The BroBible team writes about gear that we think you want. Occasionally, we write about items that are a part of one of our affiliate partnerships and we will get a percentage of the revenue from sales.

Nick Dimengo avatar
Nick's a Sr. Editor for BroBible, mainly relying on his Sports Encyclopedia-like mind to write about things. He's also the co-host of the BroBible podcast "We Run This," and can be seen sweating his ass off while frequently running 10+ miles around Seattle.