They say it takes a village to raise a child. But as one TikToker points out, what if you don’t want to be part of that village?
Los Angeles-based TikToker Julia Austin (@jaustin327) often shares her observations about being childfree with her 4,036 followers. But one of her latest TikToks, which has amassed 227,600 views, has gone viral.
“So I was at a restaurant recently. And at the table next to me was a family with two little kids. And the kids had these bottles of juice that they were playing with,” she recalls. “I’m like, ‘Oh, good. Juice should definitely be a toy. This will turn out well.'”
Child Ruins $200 Jacket
Austin continues, “And lo and behold, eventually, one of the kids just went and spilled their juice all over my $200 suede jacket. So a server rushes over and is like helping them clean up the table. And she sees me cleaning up myself, and she goes, ‘Do you need something for your jacket?’ And then the mom of the kid who did this says, ‘Oh, her jacket’s fine.'”
Needless to say, the mother’s response rubbed Austin up the wrong way, as she quips. “Oh, I’m glad that you’ve decided for me that my jacket’s fine.”
“I feel like parents get to a place where they’re so accustomed to the idea of you just can’t have nice things, and all their stuff is wrecked,” she adds. “But that doesn’t mean that you can just project that sensibility onto people around you. Okay, the rest of us still feel that property damage means something. Does anyone else think that this woman should have offered to pay for this?”
Not All Viewers Took Her Side
In the TikTok comments, viewers couldn’t make up their minds. There were a number of commenters who agreed with Austin, with one writing, “Parents take that ‘it takes a village’ mentality way too far. If your child can’t behave properly in public, you shouldn’t take the child out in public. This is the same energy as children hitting and or biting people in public, and the parents getting mad at the victims for yelling at their children.”
Another echoed, “Entitled parents are the WORST she should have INSISTED to pay for cleaning it or replace it.”
“Mom of a 3 year old, I would have been $200 poorer that day,” a third said.
However, other commenters argued that Austin should take responsibility for her own jacket.
“I wouldn’t expect an adult stranger to pay to fix my jacket tbh so definitely wouldn’t expect a child/their parent to pay to fix my jacket,” one said.
“Honestly, it happens,” another added. “She should have apologized, but I don’t think she’s obligated to pay for it.”
A third argued, “Considering the fact that you saw it coming and didn’t do anything to protect your jacket, you are partially at fault. If I’m wearing something and I see my kid has a messy mouth, I’m being smart and removing myself. not waiting to have something to pout about.”
Replying to these comments, Austin clarified that while she wouldn’t have let her pay for it, she thought it was “outrageous” that the mother didn’t offer. “Or at least offer to just pay for my meal or something,” she said.
Should The Parents Pay If A Child Destroys A Stranger’s Belongings?
While viewers were split on TikTok, people over on Reddit seemed to be in agreement: Parents should offer to pay for a person’s belongings if their kid destroyed them.
A Redditor shared a story that was pretty much identical to Austin’s.
“I was at a nice restaurant last week wearing my new light grey wool coat. A family were seated behind us with a toddler who was given a blackcurrant juice box, I wasn’t paying much attention until the germ’lin squeezed the juice box so I was covered in blackcurrant,” the user, u/Mini-but-mighty, shared in the r/childfree subreddit two years ago.
And like Austin’s encounter with the parent, this mother also shrugged her child’s actions off.
“I stupidly expected an apology but the woman who spawned it gave a little laugh and said ‘ohhh dear! That’s toddlers for you’ When I pointed out the coat was expensive and her muff maggot had ruined it she shook her head condescendingly and said ‘”you don’t have kids do you?'” the Redditor recounted.
“I am usually pretty assertive and good at standing up for myself but if it’s a child that behaves badly it’s like I’m expected to tolerate criminal damage. I’d love to hear how anyone else has dealt with similar incidents?” the Redditor asked.
And users delivered. From a broken “Super Smash Bros. Melee” disc to a ruined silk dress, users shared their own stories of beloved belongings that were trashed by children.
What Do Experts Say?
An etiquette expert told GoBankingRates that parents should aim to right the wrongs of their children if goods were damaged by them. This doesn’t necessarily mean that parents have to fork over the cash for a whole new $200 jacket, but offering to pay for it to get cleaned is proper etiquette.
“If [they decline], you still need to do something,” Jodi RR Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, told the outlet. “A gesture such as ‘I’m so sorry’ flowers or a bottle of white wine — or white grape juice — with a note of sincere apologies.”
Julia didn’t immediately respond to BroBible’s request for comment via TikTok comment and Instagram direct message.