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For the most part, people fall into one of three camps on Valentine’s Day.
One, you LOVE Valentine’s Day because you get to spend it with the one you love and lavish presents on them. (You did buy a gift, right?)
Two, you put up with the nonsense that is Valentine’s Day because your loved one fits into category number one.
And three, you loathe Valentine’s Day because it’s just a stupid made-up holiday to sell candy and flowers and other crap that you don’t even have anyone to buy them for so why do they have to remind you about the fact that you are single again this year with no prospects on the horizon for that ever changing?
Or something like that. Sorry.
Anyhoo, if you are one of those people who land somewhere in or near category three, then you are one of the people who probably contributed to the map you see below of which states in the U.S. complain the most about Valentine’s Day.
The map, which was created by BodyNutrition.org, is based on geotagged Twitter data (over 100,000 tweets) over the last month about people talking about being single on Valentine’s Day.
Interestingly enough, for some reason the East coast isn’t doing very much complaining much at all. What do you guys know that I don’t?
The top 10 states who have done the most complaining about being single on Valentine’s Day in 2018 are (drumroll, please)…
1. Utah
2. Texas
3. Nevada
4. Alaska
5. Idaho
6. Iowa
7. Hawaii
8. Louisiana
9. Arkansas
10. Oklahoma
Hawaii? Really? Utah, Alaska, Idaho, Iowa, Arkansas, and maybe even Nevada and Oklahoma I can kind of get, but Hawaii? If you live in Hawaii you are not allowed to complain about being single on Valentine’s Day. Just go sit on the beach, drink a Corona, and appreciate the fact that you live in freaking Hawaii. Hawaii…
Here’s where the rest of the 50 states stand…
Now please enjoy these witty tweets about this totally made-up and pointless “holiday.”
Saying Happy Valentine’s Day to a woman tomorrow may be a sexist microaggression. Act accordingly, gentlemen.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) February 13, 2018
Early night tonight can’t be tired for Valentine’s Day tomorrow got a big evening of doing absolutely fuck all !
— Mikey Pearce (@mikeyp121) February 13, 2018
https://twitter.com/femalebook/status/963530240667586561
https://twitter.com/Rebecca__max/status/963533328682029056
https://twitter.com/bleuvaIentine/status/963536860231491584
https://twitter.com/JohnJohnsonson/status/963537329401901059
Good one.
https://twitter.com/Mr_Hopkins8/status/963531416771465216
Shut up.
Valentine's Day isn't expensive if you never have a Valentine. Keep your money in your wallet. #ValentinesDay pic.twitter.com/0OyCGDGkKE
— Ridge (@ridgewallet) February 13, 2018
https://twitter.com/qweensimmy/status/963521841867427840
Dear singles,
Remember that the sun is single too, but still shines
Happy Valentine's Day— Afro (@Omer1waleed) February 13, 2018
Oh, go to hell.