‘Welcome To New York’: NYC Man Goes On First Date. Then His Date ‘Tricks’ Him Into Paying $300 Tab

A man dating in NYC is feeling duped after the awkwardness surrounding who would pay on a first date at an upscale restaurant.

Jordan Marson (@jordan.marson) says in a TikTok with 146,900 views that he had just gone on his first date since moving to the city. He says a “cool” woman asked him out to a nice restaurant she had been trying to get into for 10 years and had “miraculously” gotten them a table at.

After they get seated, Marson tells his date that he won’t be drinking, but she’s free to order anything she wants. Meanwhile, “She tells me early on, like, ‘Yo, I’ll split the bill with you because I wanna try all this great stuff they have while we’re here,’” he says.

His date then orders wine and about three appetizers ahead of the pair’s two entrées. “And the wine keeps flowing,” Marson notes.

Then, the bill comes.

Alexa, Play ‘Welcome To New York’

All of a sudden, the woman can’t find her wallet. She even empties her purse on the table to demonstrate that it’s not there and she left it in her other purse.

Marson sucks it up and prepares to pay the bill, but he’s shocked when he sees they’ve racked up a $300 tab. He looks at the woman in disbelief.

Her response? “Straight up, she says, ‘Welcome to New York,’” Marson reports. Stone cold.

Marson says he continued looking at her in amazement until he accepted reality and paid the bill, taking the consolation that at least he got a nice date with good conversation for his money.

However, he says things shifted once the transaction went through.

According to him, the woman grabbed her jacket and immediately made for the door, leaving him to catch up to do the gentlemanly thing of walking her out. They have the “most nonchalant, non-romantic hug ever” before parting ways, the woman making the short walk to her home and Marson taking the long subway ride to his.

Marson took the woman’s words to heart. “Welcome to New York, apparently,” he says before declaring that he won’t be going on another date for a while and will be eating out of his pantry for the weekend.

‘Did You Want Her To Help You Get Home Too?’

Many commenters had no sympathy for Marson, saying he shouldn’t have expected to split the check on a first date, the price wasn’t unheard of in New York, and he should’ve expected a rude awakening because it’s New York after all.

One viewer wrote, “If a guy asked me to split and I had to dump my purse open I def would have got the hell out of there quickly too. Like what.”

A second said, “You were expecting her to split the bill?? On a first date. Also you’re in New York?? What do you expect lol.”

“300$ is a pretty normal amount to pay for a date in New York…” another wrote.

However, some came to his defense.

One said, “I think it’s the fact that she told you she’d split it, then displayed big demonstrations of ‘forgetting’ her wallet, and lastly was cold once the bill was paid. She calculated all of that beforehand. I never want to pay on a first date, but I also don’t express I’ll pay anything on a first date. Actions match to words (or lack thereof).”

A second wrote, “I NEVER comment on posts, but these people in your comment section are trippin! $300 is not your standard dinner bill and there is nothing wrong with splitting the bill. I’m shocked by these responses!”

Another said, “I think everyone is missing the point. She tricked him and he still paid!”

Indeed, many of Marson’s critics missed the point that he did not ask her to split the bill, she offered. And in the age of PayPal, CashApp, Venmo, and more, he paid the tab in full instead of asking for electronic repayment (to our knowledge). Additionally, contrary to many commenters’ assertions, $300 is not the average cost of a date in New York. A 2024 study finds that the most expensive date nights in the U.S. are in New York City and, on average, they will set you back $150.

Still, some of Marson’s critics feel he was tacky for even entertaining the woman’s offer—let alone letting it get to the point of her dumping out her purse. Of course, they’re entitled to this opinion, but for the curious of you, let’s see what etiquette says about his behavior.

Who Should Pay On A First Date?

You may think this is common sense, but opinions on who should pay on a first date and what paying means vary widely. According to Delish, the one answer people can generally agree on is that, for a first date, “the person who asks should pay unless both parties agree in advance to share expenses.”

In Marson’s case, his date asked him out and picked the restaurant, so she could reasonably be expected to pay.

However, Delish notes that in the dating app era where anyone can invite someone on a date, the expectation of who pays is complicated. That’s because, especially in hetero relationships, the idea of the person who extended the invitation paying for the date correlates with the tradition of men typically being the ones asking for dates. So, even though women may be capable of paying their own way, they may expect a man to pay as a romantic gesture and an indication of their investment in the courtship.

As some commenters suggested, the woman’s change in attitude after Marson paid the tab may not have been an indication of her intention to “scam” him from the start. She may have had the expectation that Marson would pay despite her offer, and his failure to turn her down when she was searching her wallet may have soured her opinion of him.

Is It Tacky To Split The Bill On A First Date?

The Knot notes that there are no hard and fast rules about this, as it’s a complex topic that reflects our personal value systems more than anything else. Still, while there may be a societal expectation for the man to pay for the first date, “As societal views shift, many couples now see splitting the bill as a reflection of mutual respect and shared investment in the experience.”

Does It Matter Who Offers?

Offering to split or actually splitting the bill means different things to different people. Some women offer to split the bill to dispel any notion that their date is entitled to their time for buying dinner, and they don’t mind when their date accepts the offer. However, other women find a man accepting their offer is a sign that there won’t be a second date.

Meanwhile, some men said they “demand” a split check and would ask for one even if their date didn’t bring it up. Some said they would refuse and let the woman pay next time, unless the woman’s reaction to the refusal made it clear there wouldn’t be a second date, in which case, they would let her pay half on the first date. Several said they would appreciate the offer but never accept it. And at least one said they’re fine with paying for every date, but a woman should at least offer to pay.

Consensus

Ultimately, who covers the check on the first date depends on personal preference. What you do when the check comes sends a message, and how your date interprets it can vary. Experts advise that if you want to split the bill, you should communicate this before the date. Otherwise, if you made the invitation, you should prepare to take on the whole bill.

BroBible contacted Marson via TikTok comment and direct message.