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I’ve long maintained the hardline opinion that there are only two proper ways to enjoy Sonic: not at all or if it’s free.
Nothing against the fine cuisine at Sonic — in fact, it’s most likely directly my fault considering most of the times I’ve dined at the establishment I was on the tail end of a Traveler’s Club-induced blackout — but my nights always end in disaster whenever I go there, hence the implementation of said rule.
Anyway, back to my two-pronged rule of which New Mexico women Delila Hernandez opted for the latter option — for the price of on the house.
On Monday, a Las Cruces woman rode her bicycle to the Sonic on El Paseo Road, ordered some food and when the server asked for payment, allegedly told him, “this one’s on God.”
The server told her, “That’s not how this works,” and tried to keep the food from her, but the woman allegedly threatened him and came toward him for the meal.
Court documents state the server, in fear of getting harmed, gave the woman the meal she’d ordered and ran back into the restaurant where he called police. Police later found the woman — Delila Hernandez — in a park eating the meal she’d allegedly stolen. [via Las Cruces Sun News]
Let’s just start by establishing that stealing is v bad, whether it be a painting from the Louvre or a burger from Sonic. No one’s debating that, and frankly, there’s nothing particularly funny about it.
But what is funny is placing the blame big man upstairs. After all, they say God works in mysterious ways, and one of those mysterious ways may be paying for your Bacon Cheeseburger Toaster in order to properly clear your bowels.
Usually, when God gets burdened with the blame, it’s far more extreme than a mere petty crime. But this woman had the theft ingenuity to leverage the Sonic employee’s potential faith against them.
“What would Jesus do?” the server likely asked himself as Hernandez skrt’d off with her burger.
Ultimately, Hernandez was arrested and charged for her crimes, but now those responsible are left wondering whether they’ve potentially crossed paths with a god-sent diner.