getty image composite
Going a little stir crazy already? Join the club. How else do you explain over 18,000 people voting on the question: Who would win in a street fight: The Muppets or Sesame Street?
Let’s go to the tale of the tape.
Representing The Muppets… (Top 15, ranked from strongest to weakest).
Animal
Miss Piggy
Sam Eagle
Rizzo the Rat
Gonzo
Pepe the King Prawn
Rowlf the Dog
Beaker
Kermit the Frog
Statler and Waldorf
The Swedish Chef
Bunsen Honeydew
Fozzie Bear
Scooter
The Muppets start out well with Animal, Miss Piggy and Sam Eagle, but it tails off a lot from there. By the time we get to the end of the list, Scooter and Fozzie Bear would be pretty much worthless in a street fight.
The wild card in the bunch has to be Gonzo. There’s no telling what kind of contraptions he would come up with that would surely explode upon attempted use. It just depends on when and where the explosion happens during the fight.
Representing Sesame Street… (Top 15, ranked from strongest to weakest).
Oscar the Grouch
Count von Count
Big Bird
Snuffleupagus
Cookie Monster
Super Grover (real name: Grover)
The Yip Yips
Guy Smiley
Slimey the Worm
Elmo
Zoe
Prairie Dawn
Baby Bear
Bert and Ernie
Again, the quality of fighters here with Sesame Street drops preciptiously once you get past the top five or six. However, at the top you’ve got a guy who literally lives in a garbage can (and likes it that way), a vampire, a 300-pound bird, a giant whatever Snuffleupagus is, a literal monster, and a superhero (albeit not a very good one).
The sleeper on this roster has to be Slimey the Worm. Oscar’s pal could be the stealthy difference in this fight.
Now let’s go to the audience and see who they are picking.
Looks like, in a very close battle, the people believe that Sesame Street would take The Muppets in a street fight.
Who wins in a street fight?
— Kaci Marie (@kacilouwho11) March 19, 2020
Here’s a taste of the logic behind some people’s choices…
Sesame Street’s only hope is the Count, calmly approaching the carnage when things look bleakest and saying, “Stand back, children. And, for the love of God, shield your eyes,” before unleashing an unspeakable barrage of unholy dark magic that has not been witnessed in centuries.
— Jard (@JarOfCards) March 19, 2020
Listen, I love The Muppets, but they're a bunch of stage actors. The Sesame Street gang are from the inner city area of New York. I wouldn't want to run into 'em in a dark alley.
— Jett Vee (@rubydoomsday) March 20, 2020
The Muppets, obviously. Give Animal a couple machetes and tell him the Sesame Street gang is a drum set. pic.twitter.com/gVfphTSfxm
— Surprisingly Okay (@ballyhoodoo) March 19, 2020
Muppets have S-tier Piggy & Animal. The larger characters can easily take Big Bird, who is cowardly & weak. They also have scientific Intel.
The Muppets are also known for kidnapping celebrity guests by force, showing they can take down the human cast members of Sesame Street. pic.twitter.com/jYoNGwj8ef
— CROCODILE CORP (@dread_davis) March 19, 2020
Prarie Dawn is a tactical genius. Underestimate her at your peril. pic.twitter.com/vHzDBXJQz9
— Snarking Boojum (@SBoojum) March 19, 2020
U know for a fact that Big Bird is punting muppets left and right pic.twitter.com/Rtv1CH3gLJ
— ✨🌟 KRISTAL 🌟✨ (@heathgirl1785) March 19, 2020
Don't count out Sesame Street when some of the forgotten beasts come out #barkley pic.twitter.com/v5TEf5QOKD
— Dave Robinson (@franklloydwrite) March 19, 2020
Sorry to say, but the Fraggles are gona sweep in turn theae shenanigans upside down! pic.twitter.com/882yPT3qrw
— Rob Whisenhunt (@WhisenhuntRob) March 19, 2020
Oh, SNAP.
This is what happens when you lock everyone inside their homes for an extended period of time. God help us all if we have to do this for several more weeks.