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If there’s one thing the Vatican is straight up aces at, it’s dumping on things humans enjoy. Premarital sex is bad. Drugs are bad. Adultery is bad. Cursing is bad. Murder. I bet murder is so much fun. That’s why the Catholic Church hates it.
Even though the new, cool pope is attempting to ease up on some of the Vatican’s harshest positions, that doesn’t mean the church beneath him is following the lead.
Like the official Vatican movie reviewer, who said Star Wars: The Force Awakens sucked.
Did you see Star Wars? Did you love it? I bet you did. But Pope-r Travers over there hated it. Probably because it was so much fun.
L’Osservatore Romano, the daily newspaper of Vatican City, slammed the science fiction fantasy, claiming that it “fails most spectacularly” in its representation of evil.
In a long list of alleged shortcomings, L’Osservatore Romano said the movie “overdoes the darkness,” calls new bad guy Kylo Ren “insipid” and labeled supervillain Supreme Leader Snoke “the most serious defect of the film.”
Damn. I mean, Adam Driver wasn’t great, but you gotta remember, it wasn’t until Empire that Darth Vader was pants-shitting scary. Gotta give him time. And I thought Snoke was cool, but that’s because I was high. Bet the Vatican reviewer was not. Come on, son. That’s not how you go see Star Wars.
According to the paper, Pope Francis has never seen the movie. Now he definitely won’t.
[Via New York Post]