You bros all remember Pharma Douche Martin Shkreli, right? The last time we checked in on him was when he made an official Presidential Candidate Endorsement of Donald Trump only to get the ever living shit trolled out of him because Martin thought he was BFFL with The Donald when in reality he was just chatting with a bunch of fake Twitter accounts. Before that Martin was contemplating purchasing George Zimmerman’s gun at auction, the one that Zimmerman used to murder Trayvon Martin.
You’d think that with all of this incredibly positive press surrounding Pharma Douche Martin Shkreli that he’d just be drowning in trim, having to buy an entire building of storage units just to house all the panties chicks are throwing at him, that he’d be breaking Tinder with all the swipes from chicks trying to wax the pole of the man that allegedly made a cancer treatment drug so expensive that people with cancer couldn’t afford life-saving treatment…Again, you might think that the Pharma Douche is swimming in trim but you’d be wrong. Shkreli took to Twitter to bemoan how he can’t find any Tinder chicks to skeez on, and naturally Twitter roasted him until the cows came home, absolutely eviscerating the Pharma Douche. Let’s check out Martin Shkreli‘s tweets and then the responses:
Apparently I've exhausted Tinder's database. No one wants to date me. WTF THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!!!!!1111111111111111111
— Martin Shkreli (e/acc) (@MartinShkreli) July 6, 2016
you know what? i dont need you thots anyway. i'm an independent grown ass man. you'll all want me when you become more mature!!!!!!!11
— Martin Shkreli (e/acc) (@MartinShkreli) July 6, 2016
Now for the responses:
I hear there is a pill for your pain. Too bad the price just went way way up.
— 💙🇺🇦💛Owl be seeing you … (@Tasreme) July 6, 2016
you used Thots in a sentence. That makes you anything but a "grown ass man"
— Ashley (@iamashleysims) July 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/zach_215/status/750811073025085442
https://twitter.com/MNeko/status/750822417627439105
https://twitter.com/Voodoo_Ben/status/750819225787215873
https://twitter.com/trustandy/status/750807548111024128
@MartinShkreli pic.twitter.com/859WKgbohu
— Ehren (@megalonyx_) July 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/tremblayr4573/status/750810448983945218
Probably cause youre a cuck
— drasorius.crypto (@Drasorius) July 6, 2016
Then Shkreli claims he was just clowning, and wanted to reassure everyone that he’s actually getting laid:
lol u know i was kidding and there are hundreds of beautiful women who try to get me every day right? dumb ass bish https://t.co/MDUhE6238r
— Martin Shkreli (e/acc) (@MartinShkreli) July 6, 2016
To which many of his Twitter followers actually came to his defense:
https://twitter.com/StellaParker333/status/750821988776615936
@inthefade You the man! Haters gonna hate while you listen to new Wu-Tang
— Mac STENHOUSE (@MacStenhouse) July 6, 2016
And here I am wondering who in the fuck these Twitter spam bots are that actually follow this guy and tweet at him, seriously. The Pharma Douche has approximately 109,000 more Twitter followers THAN I DO. I guess I need to go victimize some cancer patients if I want to get popular on Twitter, huh? I suppose I should stop tweeting stuff like this GIF if I ever want to be as famous as the Pharma Douche on Twitter:
https://twitter.com/casspa/status/748693655913795584
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(h/t cw39)