Next Time You Order Pizza Try To Top The INSANE Delivery Instructions Involving Minotaurs That This Bro Wrote

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Delivering pizza has got to be one of the most boring jobs in the world, unless you’re a cool hipster-lookin’ dude who smokes blunts out the driver side window of your car while you’re out on a run. Then it doesn’t sound too bad, but I might’ve come up with that scenario solely because I saw it in a movie somewhere. You shouldn’t smoke weed while driving, kids, but you sure as shit should try to entertain your pizza delivery guy with an at least semi-amusing set of delivery instructions:

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But maybe if you’re getting food delivered to a regular ol’ house don’t make the instructions this fucking complicated, or else your pizza might end up on a roof. Or buried 6 feet underground.