Audio By Carbonatix
We’ve all had our turn at being whacked by the big dick of the Law. Like that time I was tripping on mushrooms in NYC’s Prospect Park at 11 pm and I was ticketed for loitering in the park past closing time. HOW DARE THOSE OFFICERS DO THEIR JOB AND INTERRUPT MY TRIP, I vehemently told myself. When the dust settled and the privileged voice in my head subsided, I came to and realized that although I wasn’t hurting anyone besides poisoning my brain, I broke the rules. I knew damn well the park was closed but I was also seeing unicorns dancing in the trees so my decision making was a bit skewed.
I begrudgingly paid the ticket and found solace in the fact that Steven Avery is likely going to spend the rest of his days for no other reason than being a dumbass. Bottom line is that life fucks people every day, and instead of fighting a losing battle, its often best to just grab your ankles and take it like the little bitch I am.
Maybe this Texas dude named Brett Sanders should have taken a play out of my playbook before turning into a petty, narcissistic child after he got hit with a $212 fine for driving nine miles over the speed limit. Well, the ticket was $79.90 but court fees brought it over $200. Unfair? Sure, whatever–we all consistently travel at speeds that exceed the speed limit, but sometimes an example needs to be made, and it’s probably best to handle it with a little goddamn integrity if you’re at the losing end of it. That’s not what happened.
The above video has since gone viral, being watched over 1 million times.
Sanders told KXAS-TV:
“I didn’t hurt anybody, I didn’t endanger anybody’s life. When my fine came due, I just decided I may as well pay with pennies and we’ll make a big spectacle of it.”
Good job, dude. You really showed them. And by them I mean the nice, helpful lady who had to clean up your shit so you could become a speeding ticket martyr. The poor lady probably has arthritis too. I’m sure the police won’t be gunning for you from now on. Smart move getting yourwhip on camera!
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Keep your head up bro, you’re in good company in Doucheville.
[h/t Complex]