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College relationships are, with very few exceptions, as successful as a VIP event orchestrated by Bill McFarland.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that the last one to work out was Manti Te’o and what’s her face. Oh, that’s right, she didn’t have a face. Or a name. Or a pulse. But at least it didn’t end up in heartbreak. Just severe, unwavering public humiliation. That counts for something?
Relationships for college athletes are even more confounding. That’s like going to an all-you-can-eat buffet every day and just piling a scoop of brussel sprouts onto your plate. At least you’re getting nutrients while you cry.
It should be illegal, or at the very least a violation of team policy, for SEC quarterbacks to enter into exclusive relationships.
Even if that young woman is as attractive as the University of Tennessee’s Morgan Hood.
Ms. Hood was the girlfriend of Tennessee quarterback Brian Maurer before things evidently ended unceremoniously.
Hood took to TikTok, a new social media platform for the youths that makes me feel like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, to announce her split with the freshman quarterback. It’s, well, it’s somethin’.
Tennessee QB Brian Maurer and his girlfriend apparently broke up.
(You’re welcome) 😂
— TodayInSports (@TodayInSportsCo) December 12, 2019
Maurer retorted to his former lover on Instagram, appearing to claim that the TikTok was an attention grab.
The feud has reached Long Paragraph Posted To Instagram levels. Critical mass.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B6BCDJZB899/
Moral of the story: lovers come, lovers go, life goes on. When you get to my age, you don’t even feel anything anymore. Love is for the weak. You can’t get heartbroken if you stay lonely [insert guy pointing to head meme].
P.S. And yes Morgan, you are correct. It is a very slow news day.
[h/t Busted Coverage]