Jerry Jones Says Micah Parsons Is As “Pure As Mother’s Milk”, Internet Reacts Accordingly

Ahhhhh, good ole Jerry Jones. Part of me wonders if Jerry Jones’ brain is stuck in 1965 — crushing old episodes of The Honeymooners and slingin’ around phrases like “Darn tootin’!” and whatnot. Except, with Jerry, it’s not that he thinks it’s actually half-a-century ago because of the deteriorating condition of his mental state (well, maybe, but I’m not a doctor, so I won’t speculate — do you concur?), but rather, because he’s so rich that he simply chooses to live in that reality. Can’t you just picture it? Having his employees slap Pan-Am decals on his private jets and watching his own cable feed that features Marlboro Man commercials and exclusively listening to Janice Joplin and Jimi Hendrix.

That theory would, at least, perhaps explain how on Earth the phrase “pure as other’s milk” remains a part of Jones’ vocabulary, which is how he describes rookie Micah Parson’s earlier this week:

“He’s as pure as mother’s milk,” Jones said on Shan & RJ on 105.3 The Fan. “He just basically steps out there and gives you everything he’s got, and nature gave him some skills. And boy, does he know how to use them.”

https://twitter.com/MrHarryBoughner/status/1442892839587758092

https://twitter.com/WilliamII15/status/1442851942024286223

To his credit, Micah Parsons himself didn’t seem to be all that bothered by the metaphor despite never hearing it before:

https://twitter.com/GenoPowell/status/1443211918676840458

To be fair to Jerry Jones — not that he, of all people, needs the benefit of the doubt — but I’ve actually heard the phrase “mother’s milk” before, albeit as a name and not a metaphor: Laz Alonso plays a character named Mother’s Milk in Amazon Prime Video’s hit series The Boys.

The Cowboys’ potentially resurgent season continues on Sunday when they take on the Sam Darnold-led 3-0 Carolina Panthers in Dallas as they look to advance to 3-1.

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