More People Showed Up To My 12th Birthday Party Than The Marlins Vs. Rays Game Last Night, The Photos Are Surreal

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The 2019 Miami Marlins rank dead last in attendance for the second season in a row, averaging 9,515 fans per home game. The Tampa Bay Rays rank just one spot above the Marlins, bringing in 14,540 per home contest. For perspective, the Los Angeles Dodgers lead the league in attendance with an average of 47,345 (3x Rays attendance, 5x Marlins). Keep it up JETAH!

It’s a damn shame for the Rays, who sit atop the AL East with a respectable 25-15 record. The Marlins, on the other hand, suck so much ass with their 10-30 record, by far the worst in the league. JETAH!

The Miami Marlins and Tampa Bay Rays played a professional baseball game last night, and next to zero people were there to witness Tampa’s 4-0 win. The reported attendance at Marlins park was 6,306, marking their second smallest of the season (5,934 for the Mets April 2).

https://twitter.com/n8wink/status/1128440187187494912

Major League Baseball has battled an attendance decline for six straight years, no thanks to shitty weather, rescheduled weekday day games and quick turnarounds for rainout days.

Via ESPN:

By the end of [last] season, league-wide attendance was down more than 3 million, dropping to 69,671,272, the lowest figure since 2003 and down nearly 10 million from its 2007 peak. Regional sports network ratings and digital streaming numbers are up year-over-year, according to a source familiar with the numbers.

I got an idea! Don’t make me drain my 401k to get drunk in the park and maybe I’ll start showing up!

[h/t Larry Brown Sports]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.