Tom Brady Trolls The Miami Dolphins From His Couch After The Patriots Sent Them Home Winless

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Tom Brady likely watched the team he’s led to four Super Bowl victories yesterday just like you and I did–on the couch, drinking excessively, maybe a halftime cigarette or four.

After the Patriots won their first two games in convincing fashion, this whole four game suspension thing may be starting to shape up into a leisurely vacation for TB12, especially considering the rest of the AFC East currently has a record of 1-5.

Despite backup Jimmy Garoppolo getting injured late in the second quarter of what appears to be a sprained AC joint in his throwing shoulder, the 24-year-old provided enough cushion for the Patriots 91st draft pick, NC State QB Jacoby Brissett. The Pats squeaked out a 31-24 W, sans Gronk.

Brady continued his tradition of social media trolling after the win by posting a fake newspaper cartoon to turn the knife into a winless Dolphins team.

The Pats face an uphill battle next week as third-string QB Jacoby Brissett will try to make professional decisions against JJ Watt and an undefeated Texans defense.

Brady will be back week 5 against the Browns.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.