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The harsh reality as we entered Week 6 of the NFL season was it meant the true beginning of BYE Week SZN, meaning we saw four teams sitting this one out. In this case, especially when it comes to that all-important sizzle factor, it wasn’t a devastating group in the Bills, Bears, Colts, and Raiders.
Specifically, I wouldn’t exactly call Derek Carr or Mitch Trubisky “electric” even when they are present, whereas I 100% would if we’re talking Jacoby Brissett. The man has style and always brings the heat when it comes to the Sneaker Game, like with these Jordan x Travis Scott Lows.
And this, well, this speaks for itself.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B2HmOzjlGls/
We all should’ve known what was coming considering that’s how Jacoby chose to start the season.
Then there was the newly minted Mr. Calm & Cool, Josh Allen, who was busy chillin’ at the Sabres game drinking Bud Light, knowing he had the weekend off with his team sitting at a shiny 4-1.
Can we get this man a @LabattUSA please? @JoshAllenQB pic.twitter.com/UAXcDuInyq
— mike geen (@Geener4three) October 10, 2019
Times are changing and I’m not sure how I feel about it, but whatever.
Anyway, that’s enough chatter about who wasn’t there. It’s time to celebrate — or lovingly mock — what we were privy to. So in my staunch dedication to CNN anchor Chris Cuomo, who will seemingly never stop shouting this, whaddya say, let’s get after it!
Kirk Cousins
“Really pleased with our effort and the production we had.” – @KirkCousins8https://t.co/pd7aGOlpN1
— Minnesota Vikings (@Vikings) October 13, 2019
Not gonna waste any time here. Let’s just bust right out of the gates with what had to be the most unexpected fashion statement of the week:
Yes, this is Kirk Cousins in a jean jacket and what appears to be Banana Republic’s shirt and tie recommendation of the week. Basically, what we’re seeing here is the reverse version of “business up front, party in the back,” fabric edition.
So was this some sort of twisted play on the Canadian Tuxedo? Was he wearing jeans too?
It’s like Kirk simply can’t decide whether he’s going to afternoon mass or directly to a dive bar to run the shit out of the pool table.
DeAndre Hopkins
"It’s a hard atmosphere to come win in and that’s a great team that we beat today."
WR DeAndre Hopkins recaps #HOUvsKC. pic.twitter.com/217Zi5CYve
— Houston Texans (@HoustonTexans) October 14, 2019
It was apparently jean jacket day in Week 6, however, a full look at DeAndre’s jacket (2nd photo in) will prove to be oh so very DeAndre, as it most certainly fits the unique stylistic ways that only he can pull off.
Hint: It’s only half denim.
UPDATE: Check out this one of a kind magician.
The great thing about DeAndre is that while does his own thing for sure, he never goes “Full Cam” and for reasons I can’t fully explain, it never feels forced.
Patrick Mahomes
Look at this king. The Gucci jacket is on point but it’s the sunglasses that could double as ski goggles or perhaps a windshield that really drives home the message of “I can do anything and I know I can do anything.”
Mahomes is exuding so much confidence here that it’s not out of the realm of possibility he was walking on water when this photo was taken.
Sadly, the Chiefs have lost two straight at home and look like dogshit.
Russell Wilson
A HUGE disservice is being done to @DangeRussWilson and it needs to be stopped. His stylist was paid for this @Dior suit pulled off-the-rack. I’ll let the fit speak for itself. #NotYourFaultRuss pic.twitter.com/44JJ5E0kLR
— Gentleman's Playbook (@GentsPlaybook) October 13, 2019
Completely agree with what @GentsPlaybook said here. Just a horrible fit.
Any time you’re donning a suit jacket where even if you gained 35 pounds it would still fit perfectly, you’ve been wronged and someone should be arrested for letting you walk outside looking like that.
Wheels up to Cleveland! 🛫#GoHawks x #SEAvsCLE pic.twitter.com/NmVSHIR0W9
— Seattle Seahawks (@Seahawks) October 12, 2019
Glass half full? Check out Russ at bottom right in the Yankee jacket. This dude always manages to even things out.
Jimmy Garoppolo
They call him Jimmy GQ for damn good reason, guys.
Simply put, this is flawless execution. Even the coffee cup is a muted color so as not to disrupt the smooth attire.
The Niners are undefeated and self-belief is most certainly not a problem.
George Kittle
Hear from George Kittle, Richard Sherman, Jimmy G and other members of the #49ers following the 20-7 victory over the Rams in LA. #GoNiners https://t.co/HC0zv0LcHt
— San Francisco 49ers (@49ers) October 13, 2019
On the other side of the universe, George Kittle is going home to watch old wrestling matches, mostly Stone Cold and Ric Flair, and doesn’t give a flying fuck what he looks like at the podium.
Additionally — and this important — George Kittle is INSANE.
Holy shit do I love this dude. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Kyler Murray
Word is you can see Kyler Murray’s shirt from space. pic.twitter.com/OzbnxIHkjO
— David Brandt (@davidbrandtAP) October 14, 2019
This is Kyler Murray not so subtly nominating himself for the Pro Bowl.
So who’s gonna tell him the game is no longer held in Hawaii? Because it’s not gonna be me.
After a full look at the shirt though, I kinda love it.
Floating tiger heads of varying colors? I’ll take a dozen.
Gunner Olszewski?!?
Gunner Olszewski said teammate Jakobi Meyers was more hyped up for his first career catch than he was. Olszewski said because he handles the ball a lot on punt returns, he didn’t think as much about the first catch. pic.twitter.com/1gQ94ebtCm
— Mike Reiss (@MikeReiss) October 11, 2019
Prior to Week 6, I was not aware that Gunner Olszewski was a backup receiver for the Pats and I’m not sure he was either. But the final part of the caption for this photo is just hilarious.
“He didn’t think as much about the first catch.”
Wow. Stunning that a guy wearing a “Bass Pro Shops” hat and a tank top, and who has a giant dip in his mouth, didn’t think much about something.
What an instant treasure. Please throw to him all day long in Week 7, Tommy.
Deshaun Watson
Deshaun Watson was spotted wearing what looks like the most comfortable shirt on the planet.
Bonus: A stoic J.J. Watt in the background just making sure everything’s cool. Safety is of utmost importance for the future sheriff of a town you’ve never heard of.
Julian Edelman
Julian captioned his photo as “Hard hat, lunch pail and thermos.”
Hmm… after an analysis of the photo he attached those words to, especially upon noticing the side fanny pack, the cuffed red thermos, and the $11 water, I’d like to counter with “Which way to Brooklyn?”
Classic uppity hipster on display here, my friends.
Gardner Minshew
We're ready to go. #DUUUVAL | pic.twitter.com/kbFh7pYIYF
— Jacksonville Jaguars (@Jaguars) October 13, 2019
Mirrored aviators? Check.
Washington State COUGARS shirt? Check.
Enormous fountain soda? Check.
Jorts? Tragically no check here. But they can be found here.
Amount of fucks given? ZERO.
Rather appropriately, zero rhymes with hero.
Tom Brady
Tom Brady 10/10: 'We just grinded it out'
Full Press Conference: https://t.co/tmVxzwCg7y #Patriots pic.twitter.com/MAdjieIRSU
— Patriots.com (@PATRIOTSdotCOM) October 11, 2019
When Tom Brady smirks it’s never by accident.
This is the smirk that says the Pats are sitting pretty at 6-0 and that Sir Thomas was able to spend the entire fourth quarter padding his stats against the Giants after surpassing Peyton Manning on the all-time yardage list.
It also says that Tom is well aware he’s experiencing a top-shelf hair day and that he’s very cozy in that brand new parka that Gisele snuck into the rotation just to keep things fresh.
Baker Mayfield
Baker Mayfield lookin’ like a lost puppy before the game. Yikes.
This getup is very symbolic of what he’s been trying to do on the field. Which is to say, too much.
Next time, ditch the hoodie and just go with the jacket.
Dak Prescott
"We’re not playing complementary football…"
QB Dak Prescott addresses the media following #DALvsNYJ
— Dallas Cowboys (@dallascowboys) October 14, 2019
If Dak soon finds himself in yet another impossible scenario where he’s forced into instant comeback mode, I’m convinced he’ll finally ditch his signature bow tie look and show up to the podium in a Jason mask dripping with blood.
Daniel Jones
Daniel Jones still identifies himself as "Duke University QB" in his Twitter bio, and David Cutcliffe told us Jones actually wore the same suit he got as a college junior for his first pro start! #BlueDeviltoBigBlue #TNFonPrime 📷: https://t.co/n0iWadhwRa pic.twitter.com/NBarVFnWZn
— Hannah Storm (@HannahStormESPN) October 11, 2019
On one hand, it’s cool that Daniel Jones remains close to his Duke roots that allowed him to thrive and become the No. 6 pick in the NFL Draft.
On the other hand, it’s pretty hysterical that Daniel Jones hasn’t bothered to update his Twitter bio in any capacity whatsoever and still dresses like he’s attending the big fraternity formal.
Or this, which is a hilarious summarization of his outfit.
Me showing up for a Model UN trip in 10th grade. pic.twitter.com/goriebSeYi
— Jeff Eisenband (@JeffEisenband) October 10, 2019
Zeke Elliott
When it’s gameday 🤪 @EzekielElliott #DALvsNYJ | #DallasCowboys pic.twitter.com/xcck4Hi90B
— Dallas Cowboys (@dallascowboys) October 13, 2019
Between the hair, the beard, the shades, the suit, and the vibrancy, Zeke’s official score is 107/10.
Amari Cooper
Amari Cooper cannot be stopped and he cannot be mocked.
Sometimes it’s that simple.
Odell Beckham & Jarvis Landry
Really, really enjoying OBJ’s tinfoil space harness. Or whatever the hell that thing is.
Flawless!
Carson Wentz
Yes, Zach Ertz and Alshon Jeffery are also in this photo and Ertz — who clearly knows what he’s doing — looks fashionably locked in.
But Carson Wentz? My god, man. What is this, Halloween? Looks like a poor attempt at a tribute to some random extra that was in Dick Tracy.
One word of advice: NO.
Christian McCaffrey
Posh look for CMC #TeamBose | #BoseHeadphones pic.twitter.com/sPQEyuETdi
— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) October 13, 2019
Posh, indeed. Christian McCaffrey looked like a guy who knew he was in London and dressed accordingly. Could easily see CMC getting into an ugly scuffle with the Shelby brothers at the track over an alleged fixed race.
Speaking of Peaky Blinders, this was god damn beautiful.
CMC's fav show is @ThePeakyBlinder and he just met Michael Gray (aka @finncole) pic.twitter.com/hVADyvRRAF
— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) October 13, 2019
Just know, Christian, that Michael is probably NOT one to be trusted.
Tyrod Taylor
There’s no way to see this suit from a distance and not think “birdshit explosion.”
Stefon Diggs
Crop these photos just above the socks and we have a bold victory for Diggs. Unfortunately, that’s not the case in either photo.
In turn, this a bit of a debacle.
Adam Butler
Thursday night at the office.
— New England Patriots (@Patriots) October 10, 2019
Hate the Patriots all ya want — it’s basically a bodily function for most people at this point — but anyone rollin’ into the stadium wearing a Boyz N The Hood t-shirt deserves a thunderous round of applause.
Expertly done, Adam Butler. Not exactly a household name for most fans, although he does have 2.5 sacks through 6 games. Which really just tells us how stacked this Pats’ defense truly is.
Will Hernandez!
The bio on Will Hernandez’s official Instagram page says the following:
“Traditional Wings > Boneless”
So not only do I love his straight to the point, facts-based approach, I’m beyond stunned that a guy who makes buffalo wings such a high priority even bothered to wear a suit.
Offensive linemen are the best and they don’t even know it.
A Quartet of Panthers
Dashing lads 🇬🇧 pic.twitter.com/JmHLj5uxDw
— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) October 13, 2019
Brian Burns, Andre Smith, Gerald McCoy, and Ray-Ray McCloud all rose to the occasion for the big trip to London, though sadly there can only be one winner.
After much internal jousting, Gerald McCoy’s scintillating photo was the one that needed to be yanked out of that collage and featured because he was in the zooooone.
So is McCoy leaving the Playboy Mansion or in London to face the Panthers? Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that’s he’s obviously in a stadium I would have no idea.
Complete 50/50 tossup.
Cody Latimer
I’m not lying when I say I would wear this RichFresh suit in a heartbeat, so long as the pants were changed from sweatpants to, you know, actual pants. The yellow accents on the collar and pocket are sensational.
And if you don’t happen to agree, I got two words for ya…
Avery Williamson
Mark me down as officially aboard the style train of Jets linebacker Avery Williamson.
Now, while some might not consider simply wearing your full uniform as stylish, I beg to differ in this instance. Between the modern art on the wall and his pristine surroundings, Williamson somehow pulls off a refined, dignified look in a freakin’ Jets uniform.
That, my friends, is nothing short of a miracle.
Anthony Barr
Vikings linebacker Anthony Barr opted to go the Costanza PUFFY route, though with a high-end twist in the form of Louis Vuitton monograms all over the place.
Tyler Lockett & Terry Wright
The players that keep it casual and wear t-shirts with random statements and celebrate cartoons are among my favorites.
Devin McCourty
Devin McCourty, sans Peppa Pig shirt pic.twitter.com/Lrr1FXFPay
— Patriots on CLNS Media (@PatriotsCLNS) October 11, 2019
We can’t talk about t-shirts without talking about the GOD of t-shirts, Devin McCourty.
It’s not the best photo but I’m almost positive that’s a Street Fighter shirt. Brilliant.
Julian Love
https://www.instagram.com/p/B3UfbMsA5D_/
Since the Giants played on Thursday, Julian Love — a rookie out of Notre Dame who has played ONE defensive snap this season — got to dick around in an Aston Martin DB11 Volante all weekend.
What a life.
Kevin Byard
Don’t care if Titans safety Kevin Byard is wearing a $3,000 Burberry jacket, it’s one of dumber style “statements” we’ve seen all season.
I’d much prefer to drop $3,000 as an initial down payment for Melvin Gordon’s chain, which leads us to…
Melvin Gordon
… well, Melvin Gordon’s chain. Guessing just 36 more easy payments of $3,000 and that puppy is all MINE.
Swagger
After 5+ seasons, Swagger will make his final run this Sunday against the Seahawks and pass on the tradition to his son, SJ
More on Swagger’s retirement » https://t.co/y1Cw9uOiKV pic.twitter.com/xgTIzlSpVJ
— Cleveland Browns (@Browns) October 11, 2019
Don’t blame you at all, Swagger. You’ve seen more than enough ugliness while still managing to ooze charisma.
Enjoy retirement and switch team allegiances as soon as you get home.