
Getty Image / Maddie Meyer
- Twitter users @JeffKrisko used the slow NFL action on Sunday to imagine what every NFL coach would be doing for work if they weren’t coaching
- Based solely on appearance, this viral Twitter thread enables us to envision a world where Mike Tomlin is a H.S. Guidance Counselor
- Read more BroBible articles about the ‘NFL’ right here
After several Sundays featuring multiple upsets and exciting games, the only real NFL surprise on Sunday was the Tampa Bay Buccaneers losing to the Washington Football Team.
There were some close games but the vast majority of the favorites won (and covered the spread) and the Detroit Lions found a way to end their losing streak without actually winning. Najee Harris of the Steelers got roasted for that, by the way.
Twitter user @JeffKrisko is the Editor-in-Chief of Football Absurdity, a fantasy sports website, and he used the downtime on Sunday to go viral. I scrolled past this thread of viral tweets here Kriskoo imagines what every NFL head coach would be doing for work, if they didn’t coach in the NFL, and its entirely based on appearance.
Let’s check it out:
Since NFL football sucked today, I decided to look at every head coach and decide what they would be if football didn't exist, based solely on their looks…
— Jeff "Queso Dogs" Krisko (@JeffKrisko) November 15, 2021
AFC West:
Vic Fangio: Head mechanic, dealership
Andy Reid: Owner, local chain of BBQ joints
Rich Bisaccia: Owner/head chef, local chain of pizzerias
Brandon Staley: Youth pastor pic.twitter.com/17BiBZpEib— Jeff "Queso Dogs" Krisko (@JeffKrisko) November 15, 2021
AFC North:
John Harbaugh: landlord (not a job)
Zac Taylor: Finance bro
Kevin Stefanski: Firefighter/professional hunk
Mike Tomlin: High school guidance counselor pic.twitter.com/t2jtEzbMXS— Jeff "Queso Dogs" Krisko (@JeffKrisko) November 15, 2021
AFC East:
Sean McDermott: Head nurse
Brian Flores: Bank loan officer
Bill Belichick: Somehow, football coach
Robert Saleh: Personal trainer pic.twitter.com/gy2NomWRdj— Jeff "Queso Dogs" Krisko (@JeffKrisko) November 15, 2021
AFC South:
David Culley: Vice Principal
Frank Reich: AP World History teacher
Urban Meyer: State assemblyman
Mike Vrabel: Sports Injury Therapist pic.twitter.com/xeOuflqI7e— Jeff "Queso Dogs" Krisko (@JeffKrisko) November 15, 2021
NFC West:
Kliff Kingsbury: Personal injury attorney
Sean McVay: Political consultant/PR specialist
Kyle Shanahan: Kendall Roy on Succession
Pete Carroll: Owner of a local chain of moderately priced furniture stores who is somehow worth $15 million pic.twitter.com/zyUC5PP5yW— Jeff "Queso Dogs" Krisko (@JeffKrisko) November 15, 2021
NFC North:
Matt Nagy: H Jon Benjamin Stand-In
Dan Campbell: Stunt coordinator
Matt LaFleur: Real estate agent
Mike Zimmer: Head of cardiology at a smallish hospital pic.twitter.com/YsLZ579sfz— Jeff "Queso Dogs" Krisko (@JeffKrisko) November 15, 2021
I get EXTREME ‘H.S. Principal on the verge of retirement’ vibes from Riverboat Ron Rivera in the picture below but this is all up to interpetation.
NFC East:
Mike McCarthy: Electrician (beard) / bus driver (no beard)
Joe Judge: Used car salesman whose dad owns the dealership and whose nickname in college was Burp
Nick Sirianni: Podcaster
Ron Rivera: executive officer of a medium-sized local museum and science center. pic.twitter.com/rWyFGsopzT— Jeff "Queso Dogs" Krisko (@JeffKrisko) November 15, 2021
NFC South:
Arthur Smith: Pest exterminator
Matt Rhule: Running a sports bar
Sean Payton: Body shop owner
Bruce Arians: Regional manager, car stereo install, Best Buy pic.twitter.com/mMXK8oN4IL— Jeff "Queso Dogs" Krisko (@JeffKrisko) November 15, 2021
I disagree with the assessment of Bruce Arians. He would 100% be the cart barn manager at a private golf course in Florida, the guy who passes out carts to members all day and everyone wonders ‘why doesn’t he ever golf?’ because he spends all of his time at a golf course by hides from the sun inside the cart barn so he doesn’t turn red. That’s what Bruce Arians would be doing.
If you enjoyed those tweets above, make sure to go follow @JeffKrisko on Twitter by clicking through on any of his tweets in this article.