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THE HEADLINES

 

NEW MEDIA

… same old sh*t.

Mainstream alt media outlet (wait a second …) Vice has announced it is taking a page from “traditional media’s” playbook, announcing the layoff of some 250 employees or roughly 10% of its workforce. *checks Wikipedia to confirm that Vice actually has 2.5k employees*

If you’re wondering “who is going to make all of the documentaries about A-sexual snake charmers in eastern Madagascar,” have no fear. The brand will downsize across the board without folding any particular group. A restructuring will organize the company based on line of business (of which there are five: Studios, News, Digital, TV and an in-house ad agency) vs. by geography which is the current alignment.

This move is allegedly part of the hiring freeze instituted in November that planned to cut 15% of the workforce. Surprisingly, people with gauges who produce cooking shows starring Action Bronson aren’t exactly the go-getters and job-jumpers baby boomers complain about.

Personnel issues also plagued the C-suite at the company. In October Nancy Dubuc replaced co-founder Shane Smith as CEO following a scathing NYT report that likened the culture at Vice to that of a frat castle (read: boys club).

Misery loves company

Vice isn’t alone in failing to attract buku advertising bucks. This year alone, Buzzfeed announced it would lay off 15% of its workforce and Verizon Media Group bid adieu to 10% of its employees.

 

THE RICH GET POORER

Top level Goldman execs could be in for a disappointing bonus szn as the GS board announced on Friday that it may yank bonuses until the 1MBD investigation is resolved.

In case you missed it, the US justice department and Malaysian authorities are investigating Goldman’s involvement and knowledge as the underwriter and arranger of $6.5B raised between 2009 and 2014 for 1Mayalsia Development Berhad, where roughly $3B was (allegedly) stolen by a Malaysian financier and two former GS bankers.

No cash for you

DJ D-Sol and his predecessor, Lloyd Blankfein, who received $23M and $20.5M respectively in 2018, are at risk of losing millions as a new forfeiture provision has been introduced into both of their annual compensation packages. The board is holding $7M of Blankfein’s comp until an investigation is finalized.

And they’re not the only ones in hot water. Goldman will also defer long term payouts from 2011 for at least three former executives related to the clusterf*ck. DJ D-Sol, however, doesn’ t seem too worried, having recently dropped this absolutely fire-flames banger just last month.

 

DOLLAR SLICES

Papa John’s watched its stock price fall off faster than pepperoni on a piping hot meat-lovers ‘za after a valuation from private equity firms that was less than stellar. The embroiled pizza parlor on steroids had been looking for buyers … but apparently, a chain named after a racist Peyton Manning fan isn’t exactly a hot commodity …

The original group looking to invest in mediocre chain pizza included Bain Capital, KKR, and CVC Capital Partners. After fielding offers, PJ has taken itself off the market. Papa John’s now says it’ll be seeking outside investment, leading to the 8% stock slide on Friday.

The new plan would involve seeking private investment in public equity as a means to raise much-needed capital.

Where’s the Papa during all of this?

Apparently meeting with his lawyers. John Schnatter, the disgraced former CEO with a habit of using colorful verbiage to describe minorities, has been locked in a legal battle with his former company over his 30% stake in the firm and his seat on the board.

Recently, a court in Delaware ordered Papa John’s to hand over internal documents to Big Papa, since he still holds the largest piece of the proverbial pie.

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IN OTHER NEWS

• That ain’t it, fam. Just hours after reports indicated that Deutsche Bank may be forced to combine with equally pathetic German bank, Commerz, DB dropped earnings that disappointed. Despite turning profitable for the first time since 2014, the bank missed expectations by approximately $120M.

 

• It’s bulking szn. The US economy added 304k jobs in January, marking its 100th straight month of gainz. The unemployment rate rose to 4% due in part to the government shutdown. The best part? There is upward pressure on wages. “Alexa, play ‘Gimme the loot’ every time I walk into the room.”

 

• GM is going all “GTFO.” The largest US automaker plans to layoff some 4k employees starting Monday ahead of it’s earnings call on Wednesday. The good news is that the 4k jobs is less than expected and is meant to close the gap on the 17k voluntary buyouts offered. This is all part of a planned restructuring.

 

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